Two's Company
by HeathenVampires
Summary: Three's a crowd. Or in this case, three might just be their magic number. Varying stages of Hicretstrid, including Hiccstrid, Eretstrid, Eretcup/Hicret (?) and Hicretstrid. In that order.
1. Hiccstrid

**This probably exists, but someone mentioned bisexual Hiccup and I suddenly had this idea crop up.**

 **So... This will start at Hiccstrid, then Eretstrid, then Hicret (or is it Eretcup?) and end at Hicretstrid (or Eretcupstrid, this ship naming is a mouthful). So, there will be M/F, M/M and M/M/F - also known as het, slash and threesome.**

 **And it will contain absolutely _zero_ plot. But probably a lot of anal sex.**

 **YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.**

-HTTYD-

"Come on, admit it. He's much better company now he rides dragons instead of trapping them."

"That's true of just about anyone. Even _Dagur."_

"Yeah, but I didn't see you check out _Dagur_ bending over. Twice."

Hiccup glared at his wife, attempting to read the notes from a Council meeting his father had presided over a few years ago, trying to settle an argument. It was slow going, especially with Astrid tormenting him about Eret constantly.

Maybe admitting he could appreciate a good looking guy to his slightly obsessive wife was a bad idea. Now Astrid seemed hell bent on getting Hiccup to say he was attracted to Eret. The problem with trying to argue with her was...

He kind of _did_ find Eret attractive. Since the bravado and dragon trapper persona fell away, leaving someone loyal and appreciative and bonding with Skullcrusher, Hiccup couldn't help noticing him a little more. His tattooed face had a wicked smirk, he had a witty, cutting sense of humour and wasn't the slightest bit afraid of hard work - much of Berk was wary of the ex-trapper, and Eret had not complained once about being set the task of helping break down the shards of ice all over their island.

And Hiccup, being chief, would oversee the work. Which had involved _maybe_ a few too many hours watching Eret doing manual labour. Sweat and solid muscles and that rather cute look of concentration-

 _Get a grip Hiccup._

"If you like Eret so much, _you_ go after him."

"Nah. If anyone comes into our bed it's a package deal. So if you're not into him, and he's not into you, it's a no go."

Hiccup wasn't even surprised by Astrid's casual but confident manner as she talked of a third person in their bed. Adventurous and open minded as she was, apparently Hiccup's flexible sexuality was acceptable to the point Astrid both wanted to indulge it **and** be actively involved in it.

Gods, she was really something.

"I'm not hitting on Eret. No matter what you say."

"I'll do it for you, if you admit you like him."

Hiccup rolled his eyes, turning his eyes back to chiefly matters. Astrid let the matter drop - for a while. When they made it to their bed, the usual ritual of her helping to take off his leg as a sign he trusted her and she accepted him over with, Astrid pressed the length of her body against his, winning the usual reaction of his cock hardening, erection pressing against the soft skin of her belly.

"Did you take the bath I made up for you?"

"Yep. The muscle stuff was amazing, I felt like a puddle of goo after five minutes."

Astrid grinned, leaning down to kiss him and Hiccup let his eyes rove over her body, smooth and curved and strong. Those tempting lips made their way downward, stoking Hiccup's fire until she was dropping hot little kisses up the underside of his shaft, leaving Hiccup keening rather needily.

He didn't even notice at first, Astrid's mouth distracting from what her fingers were doing nomenrairly. When her blunt fingernails scrapes lightly at the crease between thigh and groin, Hiccup wondered where she was going with that but forgot when her mouth sealed around his sensitive tip.

"My _Odin,_ that feels good."

Astrid's lips curved into a smirk around his cock, suckling lightly to keep his mind blissfully blank. He barely registered the smell of coconut until Astrid was pressing her fingers in an _unusual_ place, making Hiccup tense up.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

"Trust me babe, you'll love it."

"Do I even want to know?"

Astrid winked, kissed the tip of his cock and watched as the stiff length twitched, seeking the wet heat of her mouth again.

"Maybe not just yet. Just... relax. I _swear_ it won't hurt."

Hiccup wasn't entirely sure, but Astrid seemed content to continue going down on him - if she wanted to do something else that wouldn't hurt, he supposed it wasn't the worst thing in the world. Trying to loosen his ass - something he had _never_ done before - Hiccup nodded, laying back on the bed.

"Alright."

Astrid beamed, almost... _proud?_ of him. Hiccup closed his eyes as she stroked him, licked at his tip, kissed the skin between his cock and sack and his hips spasmed at the warm air of her breath on him. Astrid took the chance of his distraction, one finger pushing against a taut muscle until his body gave way, let her in.

It was strange, unusual but not entirely unpleasant. He didn't see what the fuss was for though, it didn't really add to the experience. Hiccup focused more on Astrid's tongue swirling around the head of his cock, not really noticing the way she seemed to be looking for something... until she found it.

His hips bucked, muscles clenched as white hot pleasure spiked somewhere low in his groin.

"Holy Odin's ghost, what was _that?"_

Astrid only winked, resuming mouthing at his cock and pressing against _that_ spot inside him again, turning what was Hiccup's usual experience of oral sex into _holy-fuck-I'm-gonna-come_ in about twenty seconds flat. Every time Astrid crooked her finger and touched the little hot spot again, Hiccup felt a pulse of pleasure that made him think he was about to come, but then it subsided again and he found himself trying to chase it, pressing down onto the finger in him for more.

"You like that then?"

"Astrid, **please,** I'm so close-" he choked as she did it _again_ "gods, so close."

Blissfully taking pity on the writhing mass of Viking at her mercy, Astrid redoubled her efforts, moving her mouth and tongue and _fingers?_ faster, sending Hiccup headlong into a burst of hot, molten pleasure that spilled out of him with a high pitched whine. Panting, gasping, twitching, Hiccup fell back against the bed now his spine was done almost bending in two as he came, grimacing as Astrid pulled her two fingers out of him, washing her hands in the water bucket near their bed.

"Are you alright?"

"Mhmm. Little... surprised?"

"So was I. I figured you would like it, but that was hot as Hel watching you get like that."

Hiccup chuckled breathlessly, head automatically moving in closer when Astrid leant down to kiss him.

"So... care to tell me where you learnt that?"

"Ruffnut. She was fooling around with Snotlout and we all know he swings the axe both ways..."

"Ok, you're right. I didn't want to know. Don't you _dare_ tell her about this."

"Good gods no. There's a rule in place that she not ask about my sex life ever since she started asking how big your cock is. I told her I would demonstrate by jamming my axe handle up her ass the right length... she politely declined and hasn't asked since."

"I don't know whether to be relieved or terrified."

"Mmm. Both."

Ignoring that thought, Hiccup rolled over and kissed Astrid more thoroughly, enjoying her soft moans as their mouths enticed and encouraged each others arousal. Kissing was an art form, and Hiccup was Astrid's eager student. Desperate to satisfy her but unsure if it was fair for her to wait until he could get it up again, Hiccup's mouth made it's way down, down, _down._ He halted at her chest, kissing and suckling at her little pink nipples, leaving hardened nubs in his wake as he descended.

"Uh, do it to me too."

He had barely placed a kiss atop the damp slit waiting, when Astrid made a breathless plea.

"What, you mean..."

Hiccup pressed his fingers between her plush, rounded ass cheeks, feeling Astrid quiver lightly.

"Mhmm, I'm curious."

Astrid liked to push boundaries, he knew that. They had never explored this territory before, but Hiccup wasn't about to deny her. He dipped his fingers inside her, coating them in her natural lubrication before spitting on his hand to add more, then put his mouth to Astrid's favourite task.

He didn't press in immediately, circling the tight muscle with his fingers as he circled her clit with his tongue, enjoying Astrid's trembling thighs and loud moans as he pleasured her. When Hiccup felt she was tightly wound enough - her delicious taste and heated moans already had his cock hard, up against his stomach pulsing hungrily - he let his finger penetrate her, finding it rougher and more resistant but not terribly so.

Her reaction was priceless - eyes wide, mouth opening and closing without a sound for several heartbeats, then several expletives as Hiccup redoubled the efforts of his tongue, dragging it across her sensitive clit and teasing around it to ensure she didn't come too fast, or grow oversensitive too soon. His finger moved gently, not finding anything like his own body had shown but Astrid seemed to enjoy it.

He slid a second in as he felt her loosen up, the muscles squeezing around him and Hiccup couldn't help but wonder if it would feel as different with her wrapped around his cock instead of just his fingers. Right now, he wanted to make her come and from the increase of both her responsiveness and volume, he was getting close to doing so.

Hiccup pulled away to nip her inner thigh, leaving little red marks patterned across the pale skin that didn't see the sun. Astrid whined in protest, pushing down to seek his tongue again and Hiccup smiled to himself at her blatant, wanton behaviour before giving her what she wanted, licking and sucking and moving his fingers until that familiar rush of wetness - and the _scream_ Astrid muffled in the pillow - signalled she too, had reached Valhalla.

As she came down, Hiccup rinsed his hand and face, watching her quiver weakly on the bed. Her flushed and sweaty skin, those graceful limbs and just how much he loved and desired her made his cock throb insistently, demanding to be inside her. He sent it a mental note to wait, using the carefully positioned furniture to support his somewhat ungainly hop back to the bed.

"Are _you_ alright?"

She swatted at his arm, clearly in revenge for him using her own words against her as her gorgeous bare chest heaved, hypnotic to Hiccup's roving eyes.

"That was awesome. We are so doing that again some time."

"Any time you want. If it's a regular thing though, we may need to get more coconut oil in."

Astrid nodded, arctic blue eyes making their way down his body to find the firm cock awaiting _her_ body not-so-patiently. He felt fluid leak from his tip, telling her he was painfully aroused by going down on her and her eyes lit up.

"Do we have any in right now?"

"You mean you want-"

"Yep. Why not? I'm already loosened up."

She said it so matter of factly that Hiccup just stared for a minute - she was offering the holy grail, a thing many Viking woman would axe their husband for even suggesting and he couldn't deny watching his cock sink into that gorgeous ass wasn't an inviting prospect.

"I'll check, hang on."

Hiccup put his leg back on, aroused and anxious enough not to care that someone could walk in and see him naked and aroused right then and there. It was late, so everyone was likely asleep anyway. He found the small jar of thick white paste, sniffing for the tropical scent and smiling to himself. Hiccup made himself ascend the stairs slowly rather than scamper up them and betray his eagerness, but Astrid wasn't looking at the door when he walked in.

Instead, she had rolled onto her stomach, the expanse of her back like freshly laid snow, dotted with the scars she so loved to say were what made life fun. The curve of her backside was tempting, inviting him in.

"Got it?"

"Got it. You sure about this?"

"Mhmm. Just don't slam it like Thor's hammer and I'll be fine."

Well **that** was an image Hiccup didn't need. He scooped out a generous amount of oil, warming it between his hands until it was a clear, shiny puddle that he slicked his erection with. It felt thick and strange at first, because they mostly used it for cooking rather than sex, but it was well known in the village for it's _alternative_ uses.

Taking a few deep breaths to steady himself, Hiccup felt like he might just come at the sight and prospect of what he was about to do to the divine goddess beneath him. Cock twitching, Hiccup gripped the base and rubbed the tip along Astrid's ass until she whimpered softly, hips rocking back to try and tempt him in.

"You'll tell me if it hurts, or doesn't feel good right?"

 _"Yes_ Hiccup, just... fuck, just do it."

Shifting his knees wider, Hiccup positioned himself properly, feeling the loosened muscle twitching beneath his tip. He pressed in, feeling a little resistance but then the slide as oil and Astrid allowed him in a little at a time. Astrid didn't say "stop" until he bottomed out, and Hiccup searched for rational thought amongst _heat_ and _tight_ to pull out.

"No, **stay.** Just... give me a minute."

His whole body tunnel-visioned to the point where Astrid's plush cheeks were pressed into his hips, the most agonisingly beautiful pressure of muscles clenching tight around his cock. After a minute or so of Hiccup sweating, trembling with the effort to stay still, Astrid finally seemed to relax around him.

"Alright."

He could hear the strain, but Astrid wouldn't do this just for him if she didn't think she would get something out of it - it was one of their rules. Sweat beading on the back of his neck and running down his face, Hiccup pulled back, slid forwards and kept his motions slow and gentle despite the pounding blood in his ears demanding _take, harder, faster._

It took another half a dozen thrusts before Astrid reacted, but Hiccup knew that soft gasp was of pleasure rather than pain. Bolstered by the signal, Hiccup increased his pace incrementally, keeping an eye on Astrid's responses to check she wasn't hurting. He laid down on her back, using his elbows to keep from crushing her with his weight but aching to be as close to her as possible.

"Uhh, more Hiccup."

Never one to deny his wife, Hiccup thrust a little harder, felt Astrid roll her hips up and back to meet the motions and he saw her hands fist and clutch at the bed pelts, felt the muscles in her ass squeeze tighter around him when he managed to snake a hand under her hip, fingers pressing against her clit.

"Sweet Freya that's _good."_

Hiccup felt his climax approach, each thrust pulling him closer and every word dripping honey-like from Astrid's tongue stoking the flames higher. The heat began to consume him, teeth sinking into the back of Astrid's shoulder as he lost control of himself and spilled into her body, hips stuttering for the last few jerky thrusts until he stilled.

The haze took a while to fade, his cock softening by the time he recovered and Hiccup pulled out, flopped un-gracefully onto the bed next to Astrid and immediately looked at her to check she waa ok.

"So... how was it?"

Astrid lifted herself up onto her elbows, loose blonde hair beautifully mussed up as she smiled at Hiccup.

"Pretty good. I'm kinda sore, but I guess that'll go away with practice. Like riding a dragon, now _that_ used to hurt like hell."

Relieved, Hiccup climbed out of bed on shaking legs, fetching warm water and a cloth to clean Astrid up gently, putting that aside and re-removing his metal limb when he was done. Laying on his back, Astrid placed her head on his shoulder, slung an arm across his stomach and murmured a sweet, sleepy goodnight to him. He had never known anyone who could fall asleep as fast as Astrid... except maybe Tuffnut.

 _He_ could fall asleep standing up **and** mid conversation.

Astrid was in visible discomfort the next morning, so Hiccup did the only remedy he could think of and made her a bath up, containing similar muscle-relaxing herbs in the water for her. Perching next to the bath on the stool, Hiccup watched her soak.

"Is that better?"

"Much. So... Eret?"

"Are we still on that?"

"Yep. So, what say you to us sounding him out?"

Hiccup ran a hand through his hair, noting that it was getting shaggy and could do with a trim.

"Tell you what. If you're dead set on this, then... alright. _But,_ just in case. You first. I'm too awkward, I'll blurt something out or run away if I'm worried he's not interested or thinks I'm nuts."

"So, I seduce him first, then find out if he'll swing your way after?"

You make it sound so crude. I was thinking more we both befriend him properly, and you see if he's open to the idea of more."

"It'll have to be careful though... Eret isn't exactly going to jump your wife chief."

Hiccup nodded, reaching for the liquid soap to help wash Astrid's hair.

"I know, but we'll cross that bridge if we come to it."

The subject dropped for the morning, Hiccup felt the whole thing swarm into his mind all at once when the ridiculously tempting, swaggering tattooed ex trapper swam into view, his lean hips and muscled arms far too distracting when Hiccup was _working._

"Hey, chief?"

"What's up Eret?"

He felt his heart stutter in his chest, remembering Astrid's words and almost not noticing Eret was talking.

"I uh, wondered if you would mind me joining in on Dragon Academy with Fishlegs? Now the uh, ice stuff is done and I'm out of homes to repair."

"Oh. I uh... I don't see why not. So long as it's alright with Fishlegs, and you don't argue with my mom on the correct way to restrain an agitated dragon again."

Eret chuckled nervously, hand twiddling his ponytail.

"I'm not _that_ brave."

"Then yes, feel free to hang out at the Academy."

"Awesome. Thanks chief!"

Eret swaggered off, whistling happily and Hiccup hoped he wasn't pathetic enough to have stared after him longingly. It would put a dent in their plans if everyone thought Hiccup was goo-eyed for the ex trapper.

Even if he thought about how little a chance there was that Eret would not only play for both teams, but also even be _interested_ in Hiccup. Astrid was pretty much a given - she was gorgeous, perfect.

Hiccup was still... _Hiccup._

-HTTYD-

 **Disclaimer - I don't own HTTYD.**

 **Other disclaimer - oil and silicone based lubricants ( oil) should not be used with condoms or silicone toys unless recommended by a manufacturer. Safe sex for everyone!**

 **Now onto Eretstrid.**


	2. Eretstrid

**And for this chapter we have... Eretstrid! (which is one of those ship names that doesn't really shorten their names at all.)**

-HTTYD-

Eret didn't like to think of himself as easily confused. He considered himself pretty level-headed... he had had to be, working for Drago Bludvist.

Now on Berk, his life was pretty simple. Work. Ride a dragon. Eat. Try not to upset anybody. It wasn't a bad existence, and nobody had tried to kill him since the big battle. Unless he counted Ruffnut Thorston, and her frankly _terrifying_ attempts to seduce him. His problem with her wasn't strictly related to her mild insanity or strange smell...

It was that his eyes wandered elsewhere, places they shouldn't.

He was **certain** almost every other Viking inclined toward women had checked out Astrid Hofferson-Haddock. With her shapely, muscular limbs, witty repartee and those blue eyes beneath tempting blonde locks, Astrid certainly lived up to the meaning behind her name - _divine beauty._ So... while he knew that would never go anywhere, he didn't think it too weird to look.

The other place his eyes wandered was a different barrel of fish entirely. Their chief, Hiccup Haddock the dragon master... he was lean and a little gangly, with narrow limbs of wiry muscle and shaggy auburn hair that blew across his stubble-covered face in the constant breeze around Berk. He had a metal leg and made his own flight suit, and his mother had single-handedly almost brought down the dragon-trapping enterprise at one time. But he digressed.

Hiccup was _gorgeous._ No denying it. Maybe not a conventional buff, macho Viking but then, after Drago, maybe Eret was seeking someone who he could daydream about taking care of him.

Though, he mused, after Drago, Eret wasn't even sure he could ever actually share a bed with a man again. Drago didn't fuck, he **brutalized** and got his kicks out of drawing blood or tears. Consent wasn't really a concern of his - anybody who worked for him belonged to him. They were just things.

Then again, Eret countered to himself as he hammered a nail in and finished the roof he was on, Hiccup was a _heterosexual, married_ man. He was thinking about obstacles that didn't matter, because it was nothing but a dream. A dream that kept him company some nights, in his hut empty save for Skullcrusher, who was at least capable of snoring loudly enough that Eret didn't feel totally alone.

Back to his confusion...

Over the last month or so... he felt like Astrid was finding... excuses almost. Excuses to be around Eret. She was often in the Academy when he was helping Fishlegs educate the Berk children on dragons. Made an effort to sit with him at mealtimes if Hiccup wasn't around, invited him to their table if the chief _was_ there. She invited him out on training their dragons.

Eret wasn't daft enough to complain about Mrs. Chief befriending him, but it still did a number on confusing him. Jumping down from the freshly repaired roof, he checked it off his list and saw he was free for the afternoon - he could go hang out in the stables, see if he could help down there.

"Eret!"

Her voice was becoming remarkably familiar, Eret realised. Not that it was bad... Astrid had a lovely voice. Lilting, sweet and resonating somewhere deep in his belly.

"Yes Astrid?"

"You busy?"

Having been just assuring himself he _was_ free to go spend more time with dragons - wasn't _that_ a turn for the history books - Eret half-wished he had a different answer.

"Not right now. It's uh, almost lunchtime though and Skullcrusher has earned a break."

The Rumblehorn (what an _awesome_ dragon he had inherited) roared in agreement, carefully placing the wood he had been holding up at roof level down and padding over to nuzzle at Eret. Dragons really were remarkable, he had to admit. Who would have thought a fire breathing reptile with scales hard enough to smash rocks and cliffs and boats to pieces could be gentle, affectionate to a human? Plus, Skullcrusher accepted Eret as his new rider, an honour he had not yet fully accepted as he knew he didn't really deserve it.

"Great idea. Stormfly?"

The Deadly Nadder swooped down next to her rider, squawking and ruffling her scales in greeting

"Take Skullcrusher for lunch would you?"

Eret watched as his dragon headed off, leaving the new rider confused.

"Uh, ok. Am I banned from flying?"

"No, Skullcrusher just needs to spend time with dragons, he's been nervous to leave your side for a while cus you were bonding. So he's over there, and you are coming with me for lunch."

Not bothering to argue, Eret turned for the staircase that led up to the Great Hall. Astrid didn't, instead leading him to her hut. The hut she shared with her husband. The chief of Berk.

"How come we're not going to the Hall?"

"Problem?"

"Uh, no, not at all. Just curious. I'll shut up now."

Astrid actually laughed, letting him into the hut and pointing an exceptionally awkward Eret into one of the seats at the dining table. He already knew from listening to them talk at other mealtimes that Hiccup did much of their home cooking, and today was no exception as Astrid informed him the rich stew and bread placed down was made by Hiccup the precious day.

"Is Hiccup not joining us?"

"Nope, he's spending the day with his mom."

Eret nodded, taking a mouthful of stew and finding out he was utterly ravenous as soon as the hearty flavour filled his mouth. The bread was just the right amount of light and fluffy while still being substantial enough to help fill him up, and Eret was hard pushed not to lick the bowl clean when he was done.

"Good?"

"Why do you ever come to the Great Hall if he can cook like _that?_ I mean-"

Astrid lifted a hand, silencing him.

"Several reasons. One being that Hiccup's chief and isn't always home to cook. Sometimes a girl needs a big hunk of yak leg or mutton and that tastes the same anywhere. It's social as much as anything - the Hall is the only communal building Cloudjumper fits in. And you know... you might not appreciate it as much if you ate it every day."

Feeling a little cowed, Eret dropped his eyes and nodded. Astrid hummed to herself as she cleaned up from lunch, and Eret continued to sit awkwardly at the table, unsure what to do with himself.

"Come sit here?"

He did so mechanically, smelling hints of wildflower and earth and nature as he perched next to the fire, Astrid sitting a little closer than usual and Eret felt his heart speed up in his chest. He brought his knees up, resting elbows on them and felt the keen gaze of ice-blue eyes on the side of his suddenly far too warm neck.

"I wanted to say... I'm really proud of you."

"Of- of me? Why? I'm just the idiot who was almost too late in realising dragons were good."

"Eret, that was the whole of Berk at one time. Before we made peace, I actually almost killed _Stormfly_ in the old Dragon Training."

Blinking in surprise, Eret turned to look at her. Astrid's eyes were downcast now.

"I didn't know that."

"It's not fond memories for most of us. Hel, Stoick actually disowned Hiccup for befriending Toothless once. The point is that you came around. You put your life on the line for Berk. And you've really proven yourself here."

If Eret wasn't mistaken, Astrid had shifted a little closer to him. His mouth felt drier than dragon hide, his voice coming out a touch hoarse.

"Thank you."

Yep. She was definitely getting closer. Any closer and she would be in his lap... Eret dreamed of that for a hot second before forcing himself back to reality - she was the chief's wife. Not cool.

"I've really enjoyed all this time we spend together recently."

"Uh, m-me too."

Ok, Eret needed to move because he could count every freckle on Astrid's cheeks, and he was using every bit of self control he had not to kiss her. As it was, he could barely keep his eyes off those plump, rosy lips that curved upward in a rather Loki-ish grin. As he went to stand, planning to use the bathroom as an excuse, _anything_ to get him away before he cracked... Astrid grabbed his wrist, firm grip holding him in place as those dream-worthy lips pressed to his own.

Eret indulged himself for a second, tasting the sweetness of her kiss before pulling back with flushed cheeks and a heavy guilt.

"I uh- that's not right. Hiccup-"

"Actively encouraged me. He's ok with it."

"Right. He's just totally cool with his wife kissing other guys."

Astrid narrowed her eyes slightly, standing up and almost completely cornering him.

"No, he's not. But he's totally cool with me kissing _you._ "

Left with no space to retreat, Eret was trapped between a wall and a woman.

"I can't do that to him, i-it wouldn't be right."

At the **worst** possible time, the door of the hut opened, permitting a windswept Hiccup that almost seemed to glow with the sun at his back, Toothless just outside the door. When he caught sight of them, he bade his dragon wait a moment before closing the door and Eret was certain he was about to be trialled and exiled or maybe even just killed.

"Come on Astrid, anybody could have walked in."

"I didn't think I could convince him to our bedroom, it was hard enough to get him here. What are you doing back anyway?"

"Me and mom are going mapping, I forgot my map."

Eret felt like he was missing some crucial information - did Astrid just allude to taking Eret to their _bedroom_ without so much as a blink from Hiccup?

"What's going on? It's... it's not Loki day is it?"

"No. Astrid and I talked, and, well... I'm fine with it. If you want to follow milady upstairs, I am not going to stop you. Just... keep it to yourself. Love you."

Hiccup picked up his map, kissing his wife and Eret had a momentary ache to be between them that skittered away as soon as Hiccup winked at him, then left through the door before closing it behind him, leaving a really rather terrified Eret alone with a forward Astrid.

"Have I been breathing in Zippleback gas again?"

"Nope."

"Flying in the thin air?"

"Don't think so."

"Eaten dragon nip?"

Astrid rolled her eyes, grabbed the front of his vest and hauled him forwards, kissing him again. This time, though still convinced he was dreaming, Eret went along with it - if he was going to wake up, he wanted to make the most of the dream. Astrid smiled into it when Eret responded, hands sliding down to grab his hips and pull him closer.

Then she cruelly pulled back, leaving Eret dizzy and breathless.

"You coming?"

"Huh?"

His brain didn't quite work yet.

"Upstairs. The chief's bedroom is out of bounds. His living room is _not."_

Astrid held out a hand, the invitation clear and Eret found himself taking it, being led up the stairs by the Valkyrie girl. He stumbled on a couple of the steps, expecting any minute that someone would burst through the door and it would all be an elaborate prank. That thought faded more and more as Astrid shoved him bodily across the bed, all coy smiles and hot kisses as she climbed up on top of him.

His ah, _interest_ was clear, and Astrid seemed quite happy about that fact, pressing against his erection and smoothing a hand over his scarred, branded chest where it was exposed through his vest. The firey branding had been _agony,_ and keeping it from getting infected when out at sea hunting dragons had been almost impossible. Only Ug's secret stash of healing herbs had probably kept Eret alive.

Trembling hands cupped Astrid's slender hips, which was about as much as Eret dared initiate while Astrid continued to kiss him senseless. When she went for the belt that held both his vest and trousers in place, Eret froze.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I just- uh, I mean..."

Astrid cocked her head, surveying him with a penetrating gaze.

"Been a while?"

His cheeks coloured, an awkward nod the closest he could get to admitting it.

"That obvious huh?"

"You don't have to do anything you don't want to."

"No! I mean, I do, I just-"

Astrid placed a finger on his lips, silencing him.

"Just do what comes naturally, I promise it'll be ok."

Her mouth covered his again and Eret felt a little bolder, rolling them over and Astrid gasped against his lips when his erection pressed between her thighs even through their clothes. When she went for his belt again, Eret let her. The tie loosened, she pushed up the cloth of his work vest until their mouths had to separate to remove it.

He had a moment of reflection - his body type was considerably different to her husbands, Hiccup lean and wiry against Eret's broad and muscular, but there was only desire in her gaze when she looked at him. Given that Eret himself looked _both_ ways, he guessed people could be into different things.

"Uh, may I?"

He gestured loosely at Astrid's own clothing, hoping his itching need to touch bare skin would be satisfied. She nodded, raising her arms agreeably when Eret dared push her top up to reveal milk-white skin littered with small scars and the odd freckle. He felt his cock twitch in his trousers when Astrid reached for the strings on her front, releasing her breast bindings so they were both bare on the top half of their bodies.

He couldn't help but let his eyes feast upon the enticing sight, his fingers tracing a line down from Astrid's collarbone until Eret could circle around her nipple, splaying a hand over her breast and hearing her let out the most tempting, arousing little moans.

"Yep, I must be dreaming- ow! What was that for?"

Eret rubbed his arm where Astrid had hit him playfully - it didn't really hurt, but he wanted to maintain that sweet, jovial mood.

"Showing you you're awake. So... on you go."

Her quiet but self-assured confidence only served to arouse Eret further, seeing no insecurity in her eyes when he looked at her.

"Wait. On your back" Eret hesitated, unsure where he had gone wrong _"now!"_

He obeyed instantly, rolling onto his back and feeling the warm pressure of Astrid vanish from his groin, dragging a pitiful whine from him involuntarily. Astrid gracefully slid over, cat-like and lithe as she reached for his waistband and _pulled._

It had been a long time since he was _this_ exposed and _this_ aroused, wide and beautiful blue eyes zeroing in on his swollen cock. Astrid wasted little time in wrapping her hand around him, making Eret's hips jerk and spasm as bolts of pleasure hit him... yeah, it really had been too long. Embarrassingly, Eret found himself climbing toward climax already, body starting to quiver inside.

"W-what are you doing?"

"Easing the pressure. No offence, but you look like you'd come from a strong breeze right now and I can't have you going off too soon."

Well, she wasn't **wrong.** Fist clenching in the bed pelts, Eret closed his eyes and let the sensations wash over him, hoping Astrid didn't think it bad how quickly he was about to come. His eyes flew open again when wet and warm feelings added themselves to the party, finding Astrid's tongue swirling his tip like Eret needed any more stimuli before he exploded.

"Gonna- gods, can't hold on."

His voice came out all high and needy but Eret was too far gone to care. Astrid didn't shy away so much as drive him higher by sealing her mouth over his cock, taking him down with ease as he came, an exquisite heat burning through his body to leave him limp on the bed for a minute as he recovered slowly.

"Well, _someone_ needed that."

"You have no idea."

Lips swollen as she wiped them, Astrid smirked as she stood up, stretching enticingly. Something about her exposed breasts contrasting with her lower half still clad in skirt, boots and leggings gave him tingles, and Eret found Astrid watching his cocks valiant efforts to wake up again.

"Don't worry, I can wait."

Astrid's mouth tasted of both her and now himself, but Eret powered through and found it wasn't actually that bad... it was hardly the _first_ time he had tasted come. He had to awkwardly fumble as his trousers were caught around his knees and trapped by his boots, but when he was done he found Astrid removing her own footwear. Once her boots were off, she lay back down and the message was clear - Eret was to finish undressing her.

He set to it eagerly, feeling slightly self conscious about being the only naked one as his hands went for the fastening of her skirt.

"May I?"

"Such a gentleman. Go ahead."

Her hips lifted obligingly to let him pull away skirt and leggings, leaving her in only cloth underwear that he could see was dampened with arousal - had he really done that? - and a smile.

"Hang on a sec."

He panicked for only a heartbeat or two as Astrid reached for her hair braid, practiced hands undoing it and she combed it out with her fingers.

"Much better. I hate wearing braids to bed."

If Eret thought her divine _before,_ now she had the golden cloud framing her face, her neck and shoulders... well he was just about done for. Swallowing a deep breath at this "no-going-back" moment, Eret reached for the top of her hips where her undergarments rested, still absolutely expecting to be rebuffed at any minute. Instead, her hands covered his, guiding them both to pull her cloth garment away and leaving them both naked.

"Odin..."

"Nope, just Astrid."

Eret chuckled, finding himself feeling a little lighter now he wasn't scared of some elaborate hoax - he didn't take Astrid as the type to get naked for just anybody. Running a hand up her inner thigh, he felt a pulse of heat in his gut when he found Astrid wet, notably aroused by him. Brushing fingers over her clit, Eret was gratified to see her spasm, responding to his touch.

Her thighs quivered in anticipation, parting willingly to allow Eret better access and he was already utterly smitten with those hot little whimpers that came from the back of her throat. Very aware of her responses, Eret slid his fingers down lower, two slipping inside her with little resistance and another jerk of her body.

"Don't stop Eret, gods I'm close."

Fair was fair - she had already brought him off once, and the erection throbbing between his hips wasn't important right now - watching Astrid fall apart on his hand was. Using his thumb to rub her clit, he moved his fingers in a steady rhythm inside her until Astrid's hands had to grab the cushion to muffle her cries and he felt her soak his hand, spasm and clench around his fingers.

Pulling them out, he couldn't resist finding out if she tasted as delicious as she looked, licking his fingers and tasting sweet and musk and sin. It was addictive, seductive and a dozen other words that escaped his rapidly declining brain function as a gasping, flushed Astrid beckoned him close, kissing him and aligning their hips _just_ so.

"Wait, wait."

"I swear to Odin Eret, if you're about to drop on me because of Hiccup I will _hurt_ you."

"No, no, no. While my brain still sort of works" Astrid rolled her hips, dragging wetness along his erection and Eret almost lost his **_mind_** "I need to ask if you need me to pull out."

Understanding dawned across her face, that maddening half-smirk crossing her lips again.

"No, you're fine. I appreciate the forethought."

A burst of clarity hit Eret as he reached down to position himself, looking down and being greeted by the welcome sight of Astrid's breasts as he did so - they were really about to do this. Astrid had been completely on the gold earlier, Eret would probably have come instantly as he felt his tip press inside the welcoming slick, heat encompassing him in a primal, instinctive manner as he kept going, only stopping when Astrid's hips met his own.

"Oh my Thor..."

"Nope, just Astrid. You doing alright there?"

"Mhmm. Just... better than I remembered."

"Well you've never had _me_ before."

Astrid arched her back slightly, shifting her hips and Eret groaned, feeling one slender hand rest on his lower back, the other reaching up to tweak his nipple closest to the brand on his chest. He bit his lip, trying to regain some of his faculties so this could actually be stimulating for Astrid as well as him.

"It's ok. Remember, just go with the flow."

He nodded tightly, muscles in his upper body feeling locked in place as he made a few probably-terrible-and-awkward thrusts, but Astrid's eyes fluttered closed, pretty pink lips parting to release soft exhalations and Eret felt bolstered, took the welcome encouragement. Shifting his weight to one elbow, he bent his knees a little wider and gripped her hip, used the new leverage to add a little power behind each thrust as his body remembered the age-old dance.

Astrid kept up a steady stream of encouragement, soft gasps and whines and blunt fingernails scraping across the back of his hip hard ebough to break skin. Every thrust brought new sounds, her vocalisations escalating to moans of increasing volume and pitch and Eret barely remembered it was still day outside and their room had a freaking dragon-hole in the roof.

Pulling her hips upward until she was bent at the waist, Eret guided her legs to cross over his back and both of them moaned in concert at the new angle, hitting her a little deeper and feeling tighter, hotter, wetter around Eret's cock until he was racing back to the cliffs edge

"Thor, I'm not gonna last much longer."

"Uhh, touch me."

Eret complied happily, wrapping an arm around one creamy thigh to press his fingers to her firm little nub, the mix of frantic, half-feral thrusts they shared and his touch to her clit sending Astrid to the heights of Valhalla and Eret finally let himself join her, glad she had said he didn't need to be careful because he feared he might have forgotten.

He dropped heavily next to her, barely managing that rather than fall on top of her as he fought to come down from that hazy peak where rational thought didn't really occur. Astrid was half-smiling, clearly a post-coital 'lazer' as she stretched and sighed but made no move to get up.

"Not that that wasn't... well, amazing, but-"

"I confess, there's a sort of ulterior motive."

A dozen scenarios ran through his mind, each less likely than the last but all served to make Eret's head spin.

"Which was?"

"How do you feel about... guys?"

"Wait. Are you asking if I'm-"

"A switch hitter, yes."

Astrid didn't dance around it, she asked him straight. Or not, as the case may be.

"I uh, I haven't really thought about that in a while to be honest. But... yeah, I guess I'm open to it."

She rolled on to her stomach, legs kicking up and down behind her lazily as she looked at Eret.

"Well, that's good. Because otherwise _this"_ she gestured between them "was a one time deal. Hiccup and I agreed that if we got involved with anybody else, it was a package deal."

"And this arrangement of yours settled on _me?_ I uh-"

"Just... hear us out on it? This isn't a marriage contract, just... brain storming, as it were."

Still almost completely certain this was all a very pleasant dream he was about to wake up from, Eret contemplated his burgeoning attraction to Hiccup. For several minutes, he contemplated silently, but eventually, he nodded.

-HTTYD-

 **This was the only chapter with no butt stuff. It's almost... standalone. but not. Because it'll be posted second, so you will likely have read chapter 1 before this.**

 **Next chapter contains full on boy loving, all slash. No ladies. Just a lot of cock. And butts. That's about as plain as I can make it.**

 **If you wish to skip the full gay and some Eret development... hit chapter four for the threesome.**


	3. EretcupHicret

**We have reached the chapter of questionable ship name. Is it Eretcup or Hicret?**

 **So, if you didn't get the hint.**

 **GAY BOY STUFF**

 **With not actual gay boys since they are bisexual here.**

-HTTYD-

"So, how soon do you think it's safe to approach him?"

"Astrid, he left five minutes ago. It's _definitely_ too soon."

His wife pouted, biting into the mutton thigh she had been holding like a baton during the most awkward conversation Hiccup had ever had. And that _included_ his mother asking if he and Astrid had waited until marriage to have sex, because she and his father hadn't and she wondered of that was a Haddock man thing.

Luckily, Astrid was **born** to talk. So while the two men awkwardly avoided each others eyes and drank mead to fill awkward silences, Astrid laid out the whole thing on the table. Almost literally, with the smouldering glances she sent them both that made an awkward conversation even more so when Hiccup was trying to be mature with a raging hard on.

They were getting ready for bed that evening before Astrid brought it up again.

"When he says yes-"

"You mean _if. If_ he says yes."

"Whatever. If he does, and he wants you two to be alone for the first time... he's not allowed to top. I wanna see the first time you take it."

The words set Hiccup's cock off again, tenting his shorts and gaining hungry stares from his wife.

"I will be sure to pass that along in that eventuality."

"I know you will. Now get on the bed. And lose the shorts."

Some day, he mused, Hiccup was going to have to ask Astrid if she was getting some kind of psychic help from the gods. Because, she had practically guessed the exact nature of Eret's reaction and requests three days later.

"Are you sure about this? I mean... I don't want you doing something you don't want to, especially if it's just because my wife is hot."

Eret chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck nervously as he and Hiccup stood opposite ends of the table, not quite meeting the others eyes.

"I do. It's just... a lot to take in when daydreams are about to become reality."

Not usually the assertive one, at least in the bedroom, Hiccup could see Eret was unsure how to proceed, so he moved closer slowly, lifted one hand to his cheek. Eret shaved daily, never leaving stubble the way Hiccup did and his cheek was only slightly rough with wind-burn.

"Close your eyes."

Brown eyes fixed on his, wide and nervous before dropping closed and Hiccup felt a smile creep across his face in spite of himself when Eret leaned in a little closer, inviting him. He closed his own eyes, leant forward and pressed his lips against a set warmer and more chapped than he was used to. But then... this wasn't about similarity to Astrid. It was supposed to feel different. He felt the stirrings of warmth in his belly when Eret initiated firmer contact, kissed Hiccup with a little more purpose.

The zip of a dragon flying past the hut jolted them apart, both a little short of breath and Hiccup's cheeks were flushed and warm, he could feel it.

"I know, I know. Bedrooms private, here isn't."

Hiccup found himself laughing, nodding when Eret indicated the stairs and indulging in the view of a round, muscular curve against the older mans trousers as he ascended in front of Hiccup. Stumbling rather eagerly after him - stairs and his metal leg would never be best friends - Hiccup found Eret perched on the edge of the bed looking pensive.

"What's wrong?"

"What is this, to you and Astrid? Am I just some... accessory to stop you getting bored?"

He supposed it made sense as a thought - he was in Hiccup and Astrid's bedroom, a safe and sacred sanctuary of marital relations and so on.

"No, of course not. Astrid noticed I had been... watching you, and wanted to be supportive. Then she started eyeing you up herself. I can't give you an exact answer on _what_ this is, or what it could be because I have to live for now. Tomorrow you could decide this isn't for you and we will totally respect that. You might meet someone you like better and move on. All we can do is follow our feelings and see where we end up. Is that... is that enough for you?"

It took a few thrumming heartbeats, but eventually Eret nodded. Hiccup had been honest - he didn't have words for what they were beginning here. It could be a one time deal, or it could be long term... it was too soon to tell. Hiccup hadn't dared hope for anything future-wise since he believed his family was getting back together, only for his father to die. He wasn't going to put himself so far out as to truly hope for more than today with Eret.

"Where's Astrid?"

"Nadder training."

Those were all the words exchanged for the next indeterminate amount of time, actual measurements lost in the heat that passed between their mouths as hands tangled in hair and tugged at fabric, only breaking apart to breathe properly when both men were shirtless.

Eret was _much_ broader than his narrow frame, even now when he had filled out a little. He felt a little self-conscious, but Eret raked his eyes down the offered skin with obvious desire, an added edge of hunger to his kisses when their mouths clashed again. When Hiccup went for his hair, his hands removed the tie out of habit with Astrid, finding himself with handfuls of fine, obviously-groomed ebony hair.

The older man had obviously kept his hair relatively short while working with the trappers, but since moving to Berk he had begun to grow it and, like Hiccup's, his now brushed just past his shoulders. His chest felt smooth, sparsely haired but the old brand on his chest provided a texture Hiccup wasn't used to as his hand ran down his torso.

"I almost had one of those."

Eret looked stunned, running a hand across his own chest.

"Huh? This? What were you doing with Drago?"

"Not him. Viggo and Ryker Grimborn almost branded me to try and discredit our attempts freeing their dragons."

"That was _you guys?_ I remember them. Both dead now."

"Yeah, Ryker went down with the Shellfire and Viggo fell in a volcano."

His instinct had been right - now the topic of his scar had been broached, Eret seemed less reticent when Hiccup's hands pressed to his chest, feeling contours of muscle that sent little thrills of heat through his belly. It wasn't until a surprisingly confident, bold Eret went for Hiccup's waistband that he remembered Astrid's 'condition'.

"Hold on. Astrid had a rule about this."

Eret's hands stilled, broad forehead wrinkling in confusion. Even so, his tattooed face was just far too handsome.

"Uh, ok?"

Trying to find words in a brain foggy with arousal wasn't easy, especially when he could feel Eret's erection pressed hot and tempting against his thigh, matching Hiccup's own.

"She was fine if you wanted it to just be us the first time, but... only if I was on top. She wants to watch the first time I uh, you know. Take."

He expected some debate, but somehow all the lustre seemed to wash clean out of Eret and he just moved onto the bed, facing away from Hiccup. _That_ wasn't a pleasant sight.

"Eret?"

"What? I'm just assuming the position."

 _Oh._ Hiccup crawled over, turning Eret on his back with a not-small effort tugging at his firm shoulder.

"I want to look at you, you idiot. Now, want to tell me what's going on?"

Eret kept his eyes down, over his chest. Hiccup reached for the tense limbs, pushing them apart slowly.

"Drago?"

"You didn't work with him, or even for him. You _belonged_ to him."

"Well he lost, and **we** won. Eret, if you're really not up to this, I'm not going to force you. But I _swear_ I won't hurt you. We can go as slow as you want, take all the time you need ok?"

He wasn't all that surprised Eret had gone soft on him - Drago was hardly an arousing topic - but Hiccup cupped the other mans groin, rubbed at him slowly through the fabric of his trousers until he felt him hardening again. Eret began to relax, but Hiccup knew that was only part of the battle here.

Well, he wasn't doubting Eret's interest in him anymore - even nervous and unsettled, Eret was responsive, aroused. Now it was Hiccup's turn to feel nervous - to take off his leggings, he needed to take off his leg. Eret hadn't seen him without it. Ever.

"Are _you_ alright?"

"Yeah, I uh, I need to take my leg off."

Eret blinked in surprise, then looked down at the prosthetic limb. Hiccup felt his heart pound a little harder as he awaited the 'judgement' of his would-be lover.

"I forgot about that. It's cool, go ahead."

Only just containing his sigh of relief, Hiccup worked the metal leg off and placed it down next to their discarded tunic and vest on the floor. Eret didn't even look at the space there, just held out a hand and pulled Hiccup closer, widening his thighs to let Hiccup rest between them and both men groaned as their erections met.

Rolling his hips upward dragged their hard cocks against each other, Eret's hands gripping at his arm, the other reaching down to push impeding fabric out of the way until it was skin on skin as they rutted. His cock leaked to slick the slide, easing the friction so there was no roughness, just smooth and damp and _Odin_ it felt good.

"You- fuck, you got lube?"

Eret gasped the words against his mouth, and Hiccup took a minute to process that he had spoken. He took a shuddering breath, nodded and leant down the side of the bed - he and Astrid had gotten rather a lot of use out of coconut oil now, and kept it down the side of the bed rather than down in the food cupboard where it was _meant_ to go - coming up with the little pot.

He sort of expected Eret to just want a little to make the frotting go easier or something, but instead he pushed off his trousers, shorts along with them and looked up at Hiccup with vulnerability written across his face.

"Are you sure about this?"

"I'm sure."

Hiccup knew then and there, pushing his leggings and shorts off, that this _had_ to be more than a one off. Eret was handing him a trust in his safety, in Hiccup's respect and care for another person, making himself vulnerable in a way Hiccup wouldn't have blamed him for completely rejecting the notion of.

He was also sort of relieved Astrid had let them be alone for this - he couldn't imagine Eret would have been any more comfortable with someone else there watching him admit to being 'used' by Drago. That didn't matter to Hiccup, not really. He just knew he needed to be more gentle and slow with the prep he did with his fingers. Luckily, Astrid was a willing participant in Hiccup practicing such a thing. She _loved_ it, Hiccup had found.

He warmed the oil on his hands, making sure his fingers were generously coated before he even touched Eret. Eret tensed up, but Hiccup didn't push, just rubbed at the tight muscle with oiled fingers until the tension started to ease. When Eret leaned up, clearly seeking reassuring kisses, Hiccup obliged willingly and felt the muscle give under his finger a few minutes later.

"If it hurts, tell me. I only want you to feel _good."_

Eret nodded, looking younger with his hair free and eyes wide. Hiccup pressed in with one finger, let Eret adjust to the feeling of something inside him. When the muscles around his finger relaxed, Hiccup pushed in deeper. There was a light sheen of sweat already forming across Eret's collarbones, the effort of conceding this clear. Hiccup moved his finger in and out slowly, waiting for a sign Eret was anything other than terrified.

"I'm ok. Keep going."

His concern must have been visible - now Eret was reassuring _him._ Feeling the tension ease a little more, Hiccup slid two fingers into the older man, easing them in slowly and trying to remember how Astrid found **that** spot inside him. When he curled his fingers upward the way he would do with Astrid, he won a reaction.

"F-fuck!"

"Good or bad?"

"Good. Very good."

Grinning at his personal victory, Hiccup pressed against the round bump he found and Eret spasmed around him, one hand fisting in his own hair as he arched his back, pushed down on the fingers in him for more. Every stroke of his fingers had the tentative half-hard cock filling out more, eventually leaving Eret's cock standing up against his stomach, thick and swollen and leaking fluid from the tip.

"Thor, you look hot like this."

He didn't intend to say it aloud, but Eret didn't seem to mind, actually smiling for a second before his jaw went slack with pleasure, soft little gasps becoming deeper groans.

"Wait, wait. Stop."

Hiccup complied immediately - had he hurt Eret?

"You alright?"

"Oh, yeah. Kind of... _too_ alright. If you didn't stop then I was about to come."

"I wouldn't have minded. I'm a big fan of multiple times."

Eret chuckled, but shook his head and reached down to guide Hiccup's fingers out of him, sighing as he did so.

"I want it to be _with_ you. Good memories over bad and all."

Hiccup nodded to show he understood, reaching for the oil pot again and sliding the greasy substance over his erection. Instead of getting back on top of Eret, he laid on his back and gestured for him to 'mount up'. Eret straddled him nervously, swallowing thickly when Hiccup ran a finger around the head of his cock.

"This way, you're still in control. You can do it how it feels best for you, go as slow as you need."

Something that stood out to Hiccup in all of this was that at _no_ point did he feel **weird** about touching another man. He expected to, even as much as he wanted it. But with Eret right now, he just let natural urges and instincts flow from him, no strangeness about it.

The first press of muscle around Hiccup's cock was _incredible._ Even loosened and lubricated, Eret felt tight, and the slow increments with which he took Hiccup in was painful, almost unbearable but when Eret was sat flush on his thighs, Hiccup felt breathless with the magnitude of his surrender, his strength in that moment.

"Still alright?"

"Just... intense. Need a minute."

"No rush."

His cock was saying a different thing _entirely,_ but Hiccup managed to keep his head mostly clear, rubbing circles on the inside of Eret's knee until the older man calmed, relaxed. Eret shakily raised himself up, then slid down again and the heat and friction were mind-blowing already for Hiccup.

Hoping to distract from the obviously intense pressure Eret was placing on himself, Hiccup wrapped his hand around Eret's erection, stroking gently until Eret started to let out little huffs of pleasure, finding his rhythm and the angle that obviously gave him the best stimulation. His thighs started to shake from the exertion of moving himself atop Hiccup, but now Eret had found his stride the pace didn't slow for a second.

Watching the strong, stocky man slowly come apart, practically devolving before his eyes was almost too much for Hiccup, only the promise of making this a much better experience for Eret letting him hold on to the last of his sanity as each motion drove him higher and higher.

Eret's cock leaked constantly, swollen and dribbling a puddle onto Hiccup's belly but he didn't really mind all that much - he knew it was from pressure against the hot little bump inside him and Hiccup was reveling in the way Eret was mindless himself, seeking more and more to find his own release.

"Gods, gonna- uh, fuck, too good."

Note to self - Eret's command of Norse became worse when he was about to come. Hiccup sped his own hand up, feeling the muscles of Eret's already tight ass clamp down brutally on his cock, thick white spurts of come bursting from his cock as the man threw his head back and cried out, dragging Hiccup over the edge himself whether he liked it or not between the sight, the sound, the _feel_ of it all.

Eret whined when Hiccup came inside him, panting and gasping as he reached down to milk the last of his climax, a few little beads of come dribbling from his softening cock. He waited for Hiccup to go soft inside him before lifting himself up, grimacing slightly as he climbed off Hiccup and ungracefully flopped down onto the bed next to him.

"So... how was it?"

"Much, much better than I hoped. You?"

 _"Brilliant._ Truly."

Eret smiled, just a little.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Are you ok?"

"Sore, but that happens."

"I can fix that. Stay right there."

"I couldn't move if I wanted to right now chief."

Hiccup grinned, swinging his legs off the bed to re-attach his prosthetic, pull on his shorts and head into the bathroom. Giving himself a quick wipe down with a cloth, he added the muscle-relaxing mix to the bathwater and lit the logs to warm it up. When it was warm, he filled the tub and called Eret in. The poor man was a little bow-legged, a bit of a hobbling limp but Hiccup limped on his leg frequently - who was he to judge?

"A bath? Do I smell bad?"

"No, the waters got stuff that'll make you hurt less. Trust me. Astrid uh... gets a lot of use out of it."

Eret raised an eyebrow, lowering himself slowly into the water and hissing at the feel of it on abused tissue.

"I'll uh, go grab your clothes. Just soak in that for a few, I guarantee you'll feel better."

Hiccup's instinctive nature to take care of people kicked in immediately, feeling almost as natural as it did with Astrid to make the effort with Eret. As the other man joked and smiled, sat in the Haddock bathtub no less, Hiccup was reminded of his earlier thought.

This was way more than a one time thing.

-HTTYD-

 **Now all that's left is the little orgy. Or threesome. I don't know.**

 **What quantifies an orgy? Because the terms threesome and foursome are used, but to me four people would probably be an orgy. I'm not an expert though, I've only ever hit three. Four sounds confusing.**

 **Next chapter is the threesome. It's been a while since I wrote one. Still, maybe it'll be good practice for "The Things We Do For Love" which is currently sat with about three lines written and it scares me.**

 **Finally, in my rambling authors notes, if you read Bonding, I haven't abandoned it! I just wanted to finish this little four-shot first.**


	4. Hicretstrid

**Hicretstrid! Here we go. It's been a while since I wrote threesome stuff so if it's terrible be gentle with me. Use lube. Always use lube.**

 **Guest - thank you for clearing that up. I think the lack of Hicret is down to the predominant heterosexual fandom, despite it being about a show/movie with a canonically gay Gobber and canonically bisexual Snotlout. But I'm a massive queer myself, I'll write boy sex anyday.**

-HTTYD-

"Is this too much?"

"Hiccup, he isn't coming here for the food. Though he _does_ enjoy your cooking."

Hiccup fussed a little more with the cookpot, as though the idea of Eret coming over to have probably a lot of hot, messy sex with them both was about the _dinner._ Though it did smell amazing. Hiccup was so adorably domestic.

"Well, my mom is coming over for lunch tomorrow and it would be very suspect if there is none of the leftover stew because I didn't cook it."

Hiccup and his mother had grown closer since Stoick's death, and Astrid was very, very happy for her husband. But even so - now her stomach was growling hungrily, so they would _have_ to eat before they retired to the bedroom. Damn Hiccup's amazing cooking.

"At least she agreed to have our dragons over for the night."

"You know mom. She would have every dragon with her all the time if she could. We both know she would have gone to live feral dragon lady again if I weren't _here._ Berk is kinda small when she's seen the world."

"But you are her world now Hiccup. Well... you and dragons. But dragons are your life too."

He nodded, wiping a hint of wet from his eyes and heading back to stir the pot. A rather timid knock at the door sounded, and when Astrid opened it Eret stood shuffling his feet a little shyly. Spying the Rumblehorn he had flown over on, Astrid addressed the dragon first.

"Skullcrusher, the others are over with Valka if you want to join them."

Skullcrusher huffed, then turned and set off toward the high point of the island where Mildew's old farm had become Valka's home. The open land allowed many dragons to sleep outside but still close to her. And the majority of inside being made of stone meant accidental dragon snorts didn't burn all the furniture to cinders.

"Come in Eret. The husband is just cooking."

"Heard that! Hey Eret. Don't look so scared, I'm not _that_ bad at cooking."

The ice broken - despite the fact Eret had had sex with each of them individually, this was something deeper altogether - Eret came into the hut, looking rather handsome in the brown tunic that matched his eyes. It suited him more than the work vest he often wore, in any case.

"I know. Astrid talks highly of your prowess in the kitchen."

"Just the kitchen? I must not be doing so good everywhere else. Want a drink?"

Hiccup handed Eret a mug of ale, Astrid her usual mead and kept himself busy at the fire. The sweet flavour washed over her tongue, the small hum of pleasure she couldn't keep in attracting two sets of lustful eyes.

Oh yes, she could _definitely_ get used to this.

"Babe, hand me the bowls?"

Astrid stretched across to hand them to him, Eret subtle as a brick checking out where her ass pressed up against her skirt as she did so. Hiccup placed three steaming bowls on the table one by one, and asked Eret to grab the bread from over on the other side - gently involving him in the process.

They talked rather lightly between bites of hearty stew, the right mix of spices to compliment the chicken and with enough bone stock to make it thick, warming all the way down.

"Uh, Hiccup?"

"Yes Eret?"

"What's your mom gonna think about Skullcrusher joining Stormfly and Toothless tonight?"

"The truth, I imagine. I talk to my mom about everything. She's mostly concerned with me and dragons, and she said so long as I'm happy she supports whatever this is. So stay on her right side and we're fine."

Eret swallowed heavily, taking a hearty swig from his mug.

"Easy for you to say. You're not her ex enemy."

Astrid smiled to herself as Hiccup reached over the table, taking Eret's slightly shaking hand in his own.

"She knows that wasn't really who you are. You're not a trapper anymore. You're a Berkian, a Viking and a Dragon Rider."

"Alright. So your mother knows you guys are sleeping with me?"

"How dare you insinuate such a thing."

Eret turned his eyes to Astrid, confused. Hiccup solved the poor man's question quickly.

"We made you dinner. This isn't just about sex, Eret. We're trying to... court you, I suppose."

Even in the orange glow of firelight on them all, Eret's cheeks visibly flushed.

"I haven't been on a date in a very long time."

"Well, now you have. Finish your dinner."

Eret set into the half a bowl left with new vigour, and Astrid reached over to squeeze her husbands hand. He was generally nervous the first time he did something, but after that Hiccup generally wasn't a worrier - he jumped off his dragon for fun since the first time he _fell_ off. So now he knew Eret was interested - very much so - Hiccup had lost his nerves about the whole thing.

They were all a little too full to rush straight to bed, which was probably a good thing. It gave them time to sit and chat. Astrid made the seating choices - she pushed them both into Stoick's old chief chair, then sat on Hiccup's lap and slung her legs across Eret's.

"So, how long had you been dreaming of getting into a Haddock sandwich Mr Eret?"

Hiccup rolled his eyes at her, but was equally interested in his answer as they both turned to Eret.

"I uh, I guess I checked you both out when you landed in my fort all riled up. Then you were intriguing turning up to hand yourself over, and surprising when you were mad enough to go after Drago. By the time I realised dragons were friend not foe because of you, I was shamelessly crushing on you both."

Astrid remembered the stiff, irate trapper and found it difficult to imagine he was interested even a little back then. Still, he had no cause to lie.

"I think I sort of noticed you when you were helping save kids while Drago was here. I mean, you had already saved the riders and Stormfly, been a part of my dads funeral pyre and somehow stayed on your Scutteclaw despite being a newbie to riding. I was already intrigued, and then you did _that._ Then you put such heart into being a part of Berk, and you were always working away and I had to oversee you. Then... I _saw_ you."

Hiccup volunteered his own story, and Eret was quite clearly thrown. He looked surprised by Astrid's lack of issue too, as though listening to her husband talk about his eyes wandering was as commonplace as talking about the weather. Astrid picked up where Hiccup left off, playing with a few strands of hair where her hand rested on his neck.

"I remember thinking you weren't that bad when you managed to get us out of walking the plank. But mostly I was worried about getting to Hiccup back then. When Hiccup started staring at your ass, I figured there were worse options."

"Oh, thanks."

"I'm _kidding_ Eret. You'll have to get used to that."

The conversation moved to less depth, just joking stories about their teen years, and the 'classic' that was when Hiccup first met Toothless, and had to eat that raw, regurgitated fish to earn his trust.

"Gross!"

"It was. Snotlout does it all the time, I don't know how he isn't sick."

Astrid could almost feel the air change as they talked, and she definitely felt Hiccup's hand slip under her vest, smirking when he found she had gone without her breast-bindings that evening - she only wore them outside otherwise her chest ached something fierce jumping around. Eret watched, open-mouthed and hungry-eyed as Hiccup's hand moved under her vest, cupping her breast and rubbing his thumb across a nipple.

"Don't be shy Eret, join the party."

Even with Hiccup's invitation, Eret still looked to her for consent first and she would have kissed him if she could reach. Hiccup pinched her nipple, drawing a moan from her throat as Eret placed a tentative hand on her leg, slowly working his hand under her skirt, higher along the soft, sensitive skin of her inner thighs.

When he didn't quite reach where Astrid was growing hot and needy, she fixed him with her best glare until she caught his smirk. Even before he opened his mouth, she knew what was coming.

"May I?"

"Gods, yes."

Hiccup watched their exchange, then leant down to drag his lips over her neck, teething lightly as he continued to fondle her breasts, tweak her nipples in turn. Eret's fingers pressed against the growing dampness of her undergarment, stroking teasingly and the multitude of sensations was immense.

When Hiccup sank his teeth into the base of her throat as Eret slid a finger inside her, Astrid felt her head roll back as she arched and tried to chase all the feelings at once, succeeding only in being tormented further by two amazingly coordinated men. She thought they might have been talking, but she honestly couldn't hear anything over the blood rushing in her ears.

Edging closer to that blissful peak, Astrid felt both their touches cruelly pulled away, a flurry of movement and limbs having Astrid pulled around to sit more fully on Hiccup's lap. His erection dug into her ass crack enticingly, but the main focus ended up being where Eret was yanking down her underwear, pushing up her skirt and Astrid didn't have time to think how exposed she was in full view of anybody who might walk in through the front door before a hot tongue was delving between her thighs.

 _Fuck,_ Eret didn't waste time, all slick tongue and teasing sucks to her clit, his fingers sliding inside her with no resistance as he worked her into a near-frenzy with his mouth. Hiccup slid his arms under hers, hiked her vest up to expose her breasts and groped at them both, pinching and rolling her pebbled nipples between his fingers, nipping at the back of her throat before whispering slightly in her ear.

"Anybody could come in and see you now."

While Astrid felt the reality may be a little different, the _thought_ of someone coming in and seeing her like this, clothes hastily shoved out of the way rather than actually removed in their eagerness to touch and taste her, both men hungry to have her served only to fuel the fire in her gut, pleasure pooling low in her groin until she felt the peak close in as Eret crooked his fingers upward. That was all it took for everything to crash over her in waves, shuddering and moaning and not caring who knew as Astrid came with a shout.

Eret barely made it back to their level before Hiccup grabbed his tunic, tasting Astrid on the other man as he yanked Eret closer and kissed him roughly. Despite the fact she was still recovering, Astrid felt a fresh wave of tingles down her spine watching the two of them kiss. She took the initiative to hop out of Hiccup's lap, pulling her vest down if only for the trip upstairs as she beckoned them both to follow her.

Both were up and after her in a flash, Hiccup's mouth hungry on her own as the trio stumbled into the bedroom. Not wanting Eret feeling left out, Astrid claimed his lips next, feeling Hiccup's hands on her hips from behind, there without actively cutting between them. When she had her fill of Eret's kisses - for now, Astrid slid from between them, enjoying the way both green and brown eyes followed her. Astrid bent over, knowing her skirt would hike up and hearing twin intakes of breath before she turned back and tossed the little pot to Eret.

He caught it with an easy dexterity, peering inside and looking back up at Astrid. Hiccup could either tell at a glance or smell the familiar scent, eyes flashing with lust as he advanced on Eret.

"Milady did say she wanted to watch us."

Eret clicked quickly, all but actually throwing himself into the kiss he and Hiccup shared as they backed up to the bed, somehow losing Eret's tunic in their frantic fumbling before they stopped to breathe. Astrid took a seat at Hiccup's desk, leaning forward to watch the two together and enjoying every second of the differently shaped bodies exploring each other.

"You'll have to have me like this, I can't get on top with my half a leg."

 _"Not_ a problem."

The two men shared a smile, something softer than their next heated lip-lock would suggest as Hiccup pulled Eret's hair tie out, lifted his arms for his own tunic to come off. When Hiccup had to stop to take off his leg, Eret didn't even hesitate before offering to help. Hiccup showed him how it came off without hurting him, then lifted his hips agreeably to allow removal of his clothes from the lower half of his body.

"You need it slow?"

"Nah, Astrid only did me yesterday like that. Just make sure you're thorough, because Odin you're not small."

Astrid remembered the previous evening well - Hiccup had gone down on her for what felt like _hours,_ oiled fingers buried in her ass to double the stimulation before she returned the favour. Then Hiccup had flipped her on all fours, resuming fingering her ass as he fucked her. It was amazing either of them had any energy for tonight, but the anticipation had been just too much.

"I'll take that as a compliment."

"You should."

Hiccup was all trembling limbs and hot whines as Eret slid his greased fingers into her husband, stretching him open to take the admittedly girthy cock waiting. His erection leaked and twitched as he was stimulated, and while Astrid got off on his fingers in her ass, she knew their bodies were different and felt a flash of envy that she wouldn't get the exact same experience.

"M'ready, quit teasing me."

Eret chuckled, almost violently pushing up with his hand and Hiccup's back arched as he cried out, clutching at the bed pelt.

"Sweet fucking Thor, fuck me already!"

Astrid could tell by the smug grin that Eret had been aiming to get Hiccup as tightly wound as possible, pulling his fingers out and wiping oil along the length of his cock. He turned to Astrid, slowly stroking himself as he did so.

"Thought you wanted to watch, what you doing over there?"

Astrid didn't need to be asked twice, almost leaping across the room to join the two on the bed. Hiccup reached to grasp her hand, looking up at her with that same depth of love, something that hadn't changed just because it wasn't only the two of them now. His eyes fell closed and teeth bit into his lower lip as Eret began to push into him, and Astrid knew that first time the pressure felt almost too much to take.

Sweat beginning to dampen his fringe, Hiccup's breath came in laboured panting for a minute or two as Eret came flush to his backside, broad hands holding onto trembling narrow hips. Astrid stroked the sensitive patch just behind his ear, soothing the tension in his bow-string-taut body. He clutched her hand harder for a minute, then looked up to Eret and nodded.

Astrid was glad to be a part of this, knowing there would come times where they weren't always all together as a three, but she had gotten to share in this 'first' for Hiccup, comforting him through new experiences. The swollen, reddened cock jutting up between Hiccup's thighs looked undeniably tempting, but Astrid knew it was only fair the boys have this together - she had little doubt she would get her turn that night.

Eret moved slow and calculated, testing different strokes and speeds until he found the one that made Hiccup jerk violently, his fingers tightening on Astrid's as he moaned aloud, head tilting back to expose his throat.

"Gods Eret, _just_ like that."

Emboldened, Eret repeated the motion again and again, the guttural sound of skin slapping against skin filling the air amidst Hiccup's higher-pitched cries and Eret's deep, primal growls and groans. Astrid felt herself grow wetter watching them, knowing her thighs would be slick before either even started touching _her_ afterwards and not caring a jot.

Having intimate knowledge of the signs Hiccup was close to coming, Astrid reached down to fist at his swollen length, a pained cry torn from his throat when touched on a clearly sensitive part of him, hips rolling to fuck himself onto Eret, then up into Astrid's grip until, with a final howl half muffled in the arm across his mouth, Hiccup exploded in her hand and splattered himself, Eret and Astrid with his climax. Eret wasn't far behind, a few final thrusts before he pressed close, buried himself as deep as he could and choked out half-sobs as he top found release.

"Wow."

"Good?"

"Consider yourself in the good books of your chief."

Eret laughed lightly, reaching down to pull himself out and Hiccup hissed at the sudden emptiness. Astrid stroked his jaw with her un-soiled hand, watching as he visibly relaxed. His cheeks flushed lightly when he saw the mess he had made of all three of them, pointing Eret to the bucket and cloths since he was closest. They all cleaned up a little - mostly Hiccup and Eret as they were covered in oil that got sticky if left - before the two men shared a silent communication and both turned on Astrid at once.

"You milady, are overdressed for the occasion."

"Better do something about that then, huh chief?"

She challenged him playfully, getting the reaction she wanted when Hiccup pushed her vest up, ducking down to mouth at her breasts, sucking at her nipples and teasing with hints of teeth. Eret worked her skirt off, leaving the three of them bare as newborn babes and Astrid the recipient of twin hungry stares, both devouring her flesh with their eyes.

"Her turn then?"

"She has been _ever_ so patient Eret."

Astrid quickly found herself with two hot mouths on her throat, hands all over her so fast and so _good_ she couldn't keep track of where or who and just let it wash through her, one holding her hips down while the other stroked her clit and there was a harsh whisper against her skin about how soaked she already was.

Whether they flipped for it or one called dibs on a favourite, Astrid didn't know until Eret was hauling her upright to kneel over his hips and Hiccup had oiled fingers teasing at her ass, not quite pressing in until she pushed back in a wordless plea for more. Eret joined him, coaxing more wetness from her as he stroked her clit and the two alternated their fingers, separated by only a thin piece of skin and Astrid lost track of her body, the sounds she was making, only able to focus on how fucking _**good**_ that felt as they pushed her higher.

When Hiccup's teeth sank into her shoulder again, both sets of fingers pushing up deep inside her, Astrid let the pleasure tear through her body, soaking Eret's hand and squeezing tight around them both as she came. They didn't take their fingers out immediately, which Astrid appreciated as the emptiness was suddenly disconcerting.

Astrid was barely back on planet Earth when they moved again, spreading her thighs further apart and Eret's tip brushed against her, making her shiver. She couldn't deny this had been the part she looked forward to most about having Eret in with them - finding out how it felt to take them _both._ Shifting herself slightly, Astrid sank down Eret's erection easily, wet and ready to accept him into her body with no problem.

As soon as her body adjusted to one, Astrid leant across Eret's body, pressing her breasts to his muscled chest and capturing his inviting mouth, then turning her head to smirk up at Hiccup.

"You joining this party or what?"

"I had to put my leg back on, I've got nothing below the knee remember?"

"Excuses excuses. Fuck me already."

Hiccup's mouth twisted into a half-playful half-scowl at Astrid using his own words to Eret, but she could see him rubbing oil on his cock, shuffling closer and dragging his cock the length of her crack, teasing her without giving her what she wanted. Hel, she **needed.**

"Hiiiccuuuup!"

When he started to press in, Astrid forgot how to breathe as he stretched her, filled her and left her feeling _impossibly_ full with them both inside her. They were separated by what felt like nothing but a tiny piece of skin, and for a brief second Astrid wasn't sure she could take it.

Then Eret cupped her cheek, kissed her sweetly and Hiccup rubbed soothing circles into her lower back, easing some of the sting until her body managed to accomodate them both, even enjoy the fact they were all enmeshed together.

"You alright?"

"I am, but... more foreplay next time. Now get going, what's a Viking gotta do to get laid around here?"

"As you wish milady. Tell us if it's too much, okay?"

"Astrid could feel Hiccup's hips tremor with the effort to stay still, but his voice was soft, tender. Eret's face was similar, despite the white-knuckled grip he had on the pelt next to him.

"I will."

They were a little shaky at first, but then this was new to all of them. When her boys found their rhythm, Astrid found it much further along the lines of pleasurable than just plain intense as they alternated, Hiccup pulling out as Eret pressed deeper, then Hiccup sliding back in while Eret withdrew. Over and over and _over,_ turning a Viking lady who was proud of her ability to think in most situations to an utterly mindless wreck, reduced to little more than the sensations she was feeling and the sounds she vaguely recalled making.

Hiccup's nails dug into her hips and Eret's fingers explored her chest, dragging a thumb across a sensitive nipple and making Astrid convulse as she fought to contain the overwhelming pleasure trapped between them.

"Fuck, I'm close Astrid, tell me you are too."

His damp forehead rested between her shoulderblades as his hips kept moving, Hiccup's plea murmured against her sweaty skin.

"Mmm, so close."

Eret gasped beneath them, hearing their strained words.

"Thank Thor, me too."

Hiccup slid a hand around, sweaty fingers slipping in her arousal as they stroked her clit until Astrid could take no more, hands curling into Eret's skin as she shattered into a million pieces, each one hurtling through the sky at Night Fury speeds as pleasure wracked her entire body.

Eret cracked next, hips stuttering as he spilled into her with a low growl, and Hiccup quickly joined them in the realms of the satisfied with a few last jerky thrusts, his hips spasming with each spurt of warmth inside her.

A pile of sweaty, tangled limbs was all that was left of the three of them, and Astrid was so spent she felt like she could sleep until Snoggletog as Hiccup kissed her shoulder, Eret brushing sweaty bangs off her face and both men lacing their fingers together over her hip as she laid in the middle. A hasty clean up was all any of them were capable of, Hiccup barely remembering to take his leg off again before they collapsed into a sleepy, satisfied pile of three.

Astrid woke warm and _sore_ but smiling, noting that Eret had the cutest sleeping face and Hiccup's soft sleep sounds brought her to the waking world gently. They dressed and lazed around for breakfast, waiting for Valka to return with their dragons mid-morning.

When the sound of wings came from outside, followed by a knock at the door, Hiccup was first there and greeted his mother with a hug.

"We'll be out in a minute guys, hold on."

Valka stepped into their hut, brushing a hand through Hiccup's hair as she often did.

"Mom, I would like to formally introduce you to my boyfriend. Eret, son of Eret. One of the finest dragon riders on Berk. Eret, please meet my mother, Valka Haddock."

The two knew each other, but as dragon thief and dragon trapper. Hiccup was essentially declaring their relationship start over, and Astrid thought it oddly fitting.

"What about Astrid?"

"Hello, I'm right here. He's our number three. Three _is_ the magic number after all."

-HTTYD-

 **I failed to mention earlier - I do requests, so if you have something you want to see (other than non-con and like, paedophilia or equally grim things) I'm open to writing them! (currently I've almost solely written Valcup for HTTYD so maybe I ought to expand my repertoire beyond incest.** )


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